I have got very nice flatmates and with one of them I have been recently sharing my room. She has been living with me almost 9 months. She is very nice and beautiful girl (she is not my girlfriend!) but there are some tiny bits I don’t like:
She doesn’t have and I think she has never ever had any job and most of the day she is just sleeping. WTF? She doesn’t pay rent (I agreed this before). She doesn’t do any shopping and cooking but she loves eating!! WTF? She is not doing any house work. I mean she is not doing any tidying or cleaning work. Hey, my dear your long blond hair is everywhere!! Ohh, she looooooves chatting. Well, I don’t mind that if she talks to my flatmates Roberto or Joseph or Alex & Alex but sometimes she just talk too much. I think I cannot handle this. Can’t you just be just quiet some days? I can pay you for that!! Is it a problem? WTF? I cannot go even on the toilet without you saying something. Any move I make you have to make some comment. Ohh, and she loves complaining and she always wants something and I don’t really know what she wants. Sorry I cannot read your mind, can I dare to say that you could be more clear about what you want? Not only that I share with her my room but I have to share with her also my bed what I don’t mind obviously but the problem is her late night chatting. WTF? WTF? Come on! I work. I need to sleep!! You sleep all the day and then when you see a move when I sleep you think I am ready to listen? NOOO. I am not!! I just need to turn to the other side. Ohh, Yeaah, you know I have to go to work in the morning so I am very sorry I have to step over you what you just HATE and complain about that all the time. I know this is also difficult to understand but when we share a bed it doesn’t mean that I have to touch you and hold your hand so please don’t demand this.
Ohh, in case you think I don’t like that you are biting your nails when I am asleep, no, no, actually, I love it coz it indeed doesn’t wake me up. How could I possibly know that you are doing that?? Are you actually doing that?
Really, really, really, thank you, that you didn’t ask and you started using my laptop and you deleted all my emails from the inbox. WTF? Ok, you can use it but if you want to send/delete emails just use your own email account!! Also, I know it is VERY difficult to understand it but we cannot use and work on my laptop together at the same time as I need to do my own stuff. I believe you don’t do this on purpose and it is just very rare coincidence that all the time when I use it you want to use it as well and if you have to wait you have to sit by some mysterious reason as close as possible to me trying to start some conversations I cannot focus on. At the end the puzzle I try to solve and what always surprises me is that you don’t bother using my laptop when I say ok now you can use it. And by the way yes I have got so much time so I just love playing your game “Find out what keys & buttons I pressed” so I could fix and use my laptop again.
The last time, I don’t understand why the tea bag was in the bed, never mind but why the hell you had to tear it and the tea was everywhere!! What’s the point? Even you complained about that tea! You did it my dear!! WTF?
You know very good that I like spiders so thank you my innocent flatmate for killing some of them and leaving them on the floor so I could enjoy the mystic death of the spiders. This is weird but did you start killing also flies and leaving them in the bed or I was just dreaming????!!!!!
Hey, also you know I don’t have a girlfriend (someone save & take me!!) so don’t understand why you are always checking my wardrobe and looking for someone hair. Yes, yes, my dear, it is obvious that you were checking my clothes as you left the whole wardrobe upside-down. Did you find anything??
My dear, I know you don’t bother about laundry but I don’t mind doing that even for you but why you have to have so much comments about that??? WTF?
Yeah, I have accepted that anything wrong you do is actually ok, absolutely fine, you are welcome to do it again, let’s celebrate it, so much fun, he he and If I do something wrong by accident I am the worst person on the planet. I agree I had a weak time and couldn’t understand this so was desperately looking for the fastest train in London who could take me on the journey around UK on its front window but really now I got it and I know the life is a bitch a bit. Just keep doing whatever you are doing! Yes, I know I know I must listen to anything you say but whatever I say doesn’t really matter. I got it you wish I had elephant ears and no mouth.
I know that you are just a normal ordinary girl, and no no you are not spoiled and definitely no no no you are not selfish and you are not a princess but maybe and I am really scared to say it but the life is not only around you. Ohh shit. I have just said it! What? The only what you say is “And now what?” and you want to work on my laptop again…Ok, just give me a few seconds to finish this post…
…I am going to post some photos of you so friends could support me and be on my side. Here she is – my flatmate :-O
